Dear Brothers,

We are in a war; the battle is for personal integrity, for ourselves, our families, our cities and for culture all around the world. The war is not waged against any particular ethnic group, (African American, White, Asian, Latino, etc.) but no man is exempt from this on-slaught that is destroying the very fabric of manhood in our country.  Since the beginning of the 20^th century there has been an epidemic that has broken out and can not be contained and it’s spreading like a wild fire. Doctors, psychologists, therapists and professionals from all walks of life have been called in to diagnose this massive and disturbing occurrence. The outcome of this meeting has come up furtile with no concrete solutions on how to bring this epidemic to an end, the search for answers continues. While the world waits for a miracle antidote millions of victims are being claimed every year. It’s a curse that has been passed down through the generations, which started with our grandfathers and fathers.

Society has said that true male friendship is a taboo and if a man has very close male friends something is wrong. We here at The Men of Semper Fidelis have recognized that all men are in harm’s way and we are taking an aggressive step in solving this problem. The male species is under attack, and mass casualities are occurring right under our noses. We are on the battlefield and body bags are piling up with boys and men who have been fatally wounded emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically. The enemy sniper of societal opinion as well as our trials and tragedies is picking us off one by one without a fight from us. We are running everywhere to take cover but there’s no where to hide. If we try to cover our backs, our fronts are exposed and vice versa. We as men are trying to fight this battle alone, but we’re losing. The only way we are going to lower the statistics and begin to win this battle is to stop hiding behind our masks, secrets, bank accounts, cars, clothes, club memberships, jobs, fears, stress and silence. We need help and want help but we’re turning to the wrong people. The women in our lives can’t help, nor our mothers or even our children because they are not men and don’t understand our plight. We can only find cover if we have someone with whom we can honestly and openly share who we are and what we are facing in our own battles and struggles at work, at home, and, most important, on the inside.

It is essential for us as men that we begin to establish a David and Jonathan relationship with other men which is mentioned in the book of I Samuel Chapter 18. We have to begin to strip in front of our friend like Jonathan in order to grow into a covenant relationship. The act of Jonathan stripping and giving David his garments and weapons has cultural implications: it represents the complete trust and openness of one man entrusting his body, heart, and soul to another man. It’s similar to another cultural bonding ceremony between men that you may be more familiar with: blood covenants-the Native American tradition of cutting oneself, often on the wrist, and smearing those wrists together in an exchange of blood. This ceremony demonstrated that even though these men were not related by birth, from then on they would share each other’s blood, their life fluid, between each other.  

For us today, the blood in our covenants is our secrets. By sharing our secrets, we are binding ourselves to each other. We are opening ourselves up and saying, “This is who I am. See my weaknesses, see my scars, and see into my heart. “I am showing you the most intimate part of my being. Please protect it, just as I will protect yours.” When we share our secrets, we are entrusting our hearts to each other, vowing to support, honor, and be honest with each other.

David would tell you that you cannot have your kingdom and maintain it without finding your Jonathan. Jonathan was the key that unlocked the kingdom for David. Their lifelong friendship was a source of strength and stability and helped David to deal with his new surroundings. There was nothing to hide from Jonathan because Jonathan was not a competitor sent to compete but a friend given by God to complete what David was missing on his mission to greatness. Their friendship provided a safe place for David to go and a safe place for David to grow. There were no agendas, all barriers were removed, and all secrets shared.

With many men, the sharing of secrets occurs through time spent together, through shared activities and connecting over hobbies and interests held in common. So often in our culture today, men are so overwhelmed by their busy schedule  that they never have time just to enjoy a pickup game in the neighborhood park or to make time for a regular lunch or dinner with a male friend. And perhaps we’re not comfortable sharing their secrets, cutting their wrists, revealing what’s going on in their inner worlds. For that would put us men at risk of being vulnerable, of being perceived as weak, as less than the “got it together” man. Many men wait until there’s a crisis before they’re even willing to go to a counselor and share secrets: when their wives demand it because the marriage is on life support; when the man’s secrets start to take on an addicted life of their own and it tears at the seams of his life; when his mistress threatens to expose him; when he contracts a sexually transmitted disease from the prostitute on the last business trip; when he can’t quit gambling online and now there’s no mortgage payment this month. Then a man in desperation will go to a counselor and tell his secrets, when it’s often too late and the consequences of his secrets have him by the throat up against the wall.

Our goal at The Men of Semper Fidelis is not only to build friendships between men and boys, but to establish a brotherhood. This in turn will allow us to build strong bonds no matter if we’re black or white, young or old. We are all facing similar challenges and most of us don’t realize this is a common bond we share. We divide ourselves into our social classes, become deeply involved in our work worlds, and isolate ourselves, missing out on having the strength of being an army of men who are there for one another. We’re looking for “ A Few Good Men” that are willing to be transparent about their feelings rather than just talking about your favorite sports team, working out, automobiles, financial portfolios, golf, family, vacations, etc. and start talking about who we really are and the struggles we face. If you feel you are one of the few men that want to establish true friendships and willing to be like David and Jonathan by making a commitment to yourself and a covenant between other men “We Want You”.

Men and boys of all ages and backgrounds and religious faiths are encouraged to come to our weekly fellowship where we can begin to share and be encouraged by each other. If you’re a member of a local church please don’t leave your church family. We are not here to take anyone’s members; we’re only here to bridge the gap between society’s opinion of who they say we should be and the way we are truly on the inside.  We do encourage you to inform other men and boys to join us, because this is a special under taking for the development of male friendships. If you feel  that your ready to join The Men of Semper Fidelis - "COME JOIN THE BROTHERHOOD, WHERE YOU'RE NOT JUST A MEMBER - YOU BECOME PART OF A FAMILY FOR LIFE"....

God Bless,

Bro. Tyrone Holmes

Founder & President

The Men of Semper Fidelis, Inc.